Nazziwa Annet, with her baby Nakasumba Jackline, 6 months. Photo credits Jenny Matthews/ActionAid.

If you think that this Get Lippy blogger engagement by ActionAid UK is getting lighter, well, you are wrong:( Trust me, it is not getting easier for me either. So, let’s meet Nazziwa Annette. Now, according to ActionAid UK:

The police did not arrest Ssempiija for three months after the attack during which time he continued to threaten Nazziwa and her family. He was only taken into custody earlier this month after development agency ActionAid gave the local police force money to pay for the petrol to go to the area and arrest him. ActionAid also supported Nazziwa in bringing the case against her husband. Activists say that the police have no budget to tackle domestic violence cases, which are widespread in Uganda. According to a 2006 government survey 68 per cent of Ugandan women had suffered physical violence within the home within the previous twelve months. ActionAid are pushing the Resident State Attorney to lodge an appeal by 28th February. The police did not arrest Ssempiija for three months after the attack during which time he continued to threaten Nazziwa and her family. He was only taken into custody earlier this month after development agency ActionAid gave the local police force money to pay for the petrol to go to the area and arrest him. ActionAid also supported Nazziwa in bringing the case against her husband. Activists say that the police have no budget to tackle domestic violence cases, which are widespread in Uganda. According to a 2006 government survey 68 per cent of Ugandan women had suffered physical violence within the home within the previous twelve months. ActionAid are pushing the Resident State Attorney to lodge an appeal by 28th February.

These are the facts. ActionAid is doing great job, and Nazziwa looks really calm and determined to change her life for better. I am really impressed. I am equally worried about the future of her family. Her father is right in saying it out loud: the husband might be back. I look at Nazziwa’s face and I feel pain. What do you know about pain? Pain combined with the lack of security and fear for your on life and the life of your closest. I used to feel that before, and honestly, I healed and I have forgotten. At the end of January, back in Cairo airport, I have felt aftertones of that feeling, which gave me shivers, occasionally made me cry. Yet, all this is nothing compared to the cruel act of attacking another person and leaving them with a major disability. With this, and the visible memory of what has never been deserved. Because I do not believe that aggression is justified, ever. There is no excuse for hurting the other person, and most definitely no justice in blaming the victim. Funnily enough yesterday I head this on the bus in Oxford:

My partner is right, I should have told the bus driver what I think. And he is right stating that people like him AND I – people who feel it’s ok to make similar statements, and people like me who think it’s not polite to interrupt others – contribute to the social setup, which gives so much scope for domestic violence and abuse. Regardless of the region you live in. What also shocks me in Nazziwa’s story is the pain of having to live in the country where police “cannot afford enforcing the low and protect the community”. Something is very wrong with this statement, and something has to be done to change it. Well, I cannot change it, but I am glad some people do;) Way to go ActionAid UK!

This post is a part of Get Lippy series, the result of ActionAid UK’s campaign involving bloggers. Today I would like to talk about injustice, probably once again because somehow my day has evolved around it. I work in social media marketing, fairly competitive industry and I very often tend to be misjudged by people who ring me simply in order to support their own views (no, if you join Facebook you cannot assume people will not comment and if they do, start deleting all opinions – yes, it is wrong –  no, you do not really have to be on Facebook etc). I get frustrated, helpless. Looking at it from a different point of view, it is extremely difficult not to misjudge people, especially if they pretend to be someone else just to trap us into the situation without the light at the end of the tunnel. There is no way one can predict the danger there… My son keeps on telling me I am not fair on him, as he feels the pain of having to follow the rules, my rules. My own teachers from high school would probably say that life is not supposed to be fair at all. Yet, there is so much we can do to make it a little bit more just. Start by clicking on this link and checking out what ActionAid UK has to offer. Sometimes I wonder if we will be able to visualise the amount of injustice on the map of our globe in one colour to be able to measure it against the intensity and volume of change for good. I do not think I am a utopian, but I would like to see those two trends, real time, in colours, based on location. Sometimes I think the pot of work is bottomless, which really makes me sad. And then miracles like Ali’s recent release happen, and I am hopeful again!

I posted already that I was asked to support ActionAid UK’s Get Lippy campaign, so in the next few days, you will see a series of posts on women issues – from my very personal point of view. Today we will talk about FEAR. I have spent the whole day working with people who dare to embrace the change that social media brings. Equally, at the back of my head I lived all the small and big mistakes I have made and reasons why a part of me is so disappointed with myself tonight. I look at my life and I start to understand the scale of the impact of my environment for many years which built my own limitations. I think we should all have a chance to develop, to work, to be proud of ourselves…yet, I cannot help but think of times when I used to be so scared for my own life that I was paralyzed. I lived 3 years of my life in fear for my own life, without even understanding it fully – hence why today I feel legitimate to stand up and speak up for all the women who feel the same – for many specific and even more undiscovered issues and mechanism surrounding them. Some changes are really easy – it’s enough to walk out of the door, but some take time, courage and a little bit of risk, so I really hope to see more women like Najila sharing their stories  and calling for a change. There is nothing worst than the feeling of fear, fear in your own house. Some words are difficult to come out to the open, we all know it – do not lie to yourself that you don’t! But some words can conquer countries – in a way, this is exactly what we face in the Middle East nowadays – courage of the spoken word. So today I will ask you, every single reader of mine, to navigate over to ActionAid’s website and at least read those stories to decide if you want to help – sometimes even a good word can change the path of a woman. You do not know. You might not care. But do you have anything to loose?

I was a bit upset yesterday when I received a call from one of the major international non-profits I happen to support on a regular basis. Sitting in the morning #ihavenocluewhatIamdoinghere state, over my finally prepared first mug of coffee, I really struggled to remain patient with my son’s usual, extremely vocal happiness (I know, I am terrible, but with dysfunctioning sinuses and lack of sleep I can be a monster), not mentioning the fact he decided to cheer me up and play some Regina Spector on iPad, shuffling the songs randomly. Now, this is when I was called and expected to remain calm…

See, trouble is:

1. I worked on a customer service phone line so I have a slight idea about the manners, training, methods etc – my expectations are high.

2. I work in the non-profit sector, with a telephone fundraising company as a sister business – so my expectations are even higher.

3. I am a linguist who follows the “I mean what I say” rule – so my expectations are endless. I simply want people to listen!

The lady who called me started with a usual greeting, though I disturbed her clarifying I am not up for donations call. (in English: I do not want to talk about money), and moved on quickly from promised thank you message to suggestions on how my additional 10GBP could help. When asked not to talk about the money again, she lowered the sum to 5. When I asked her again to remember the beginning of our call, she mentioned only 1 GBP’s worth of a difference I can make. I told her, that she started to upset me. She apologised. I am sure she and her management think she was great! The whole call left me upset (in the first place), completely unappreciated (secondly) and extremely sad (till now). Let’s put aside the whole idea of me helping already – ok, I know, there is always more work to be done and I do agree. But I felt stupid – did I not make myself clear? It’s Sunday morning, I am tired and a bit impatient, so I am trying to handle the call the best possible way and I fail all the way along. Paradox Or maybe the reality of modern conversations? Yes, I do think about it a lot because of my job, but not business-wise at all. I am fascinated with the idea of nonintrusive, extremely sophisticated understanding of relationship in the last, genuine way that the social media has given back to us. Finally, we are able to converse, to read each other’s needs and work out the ways to achieve goals while making the others happy. Is it not possible on the phone?

I am not sure. Was the lady a victim of the training or the KPI’s she needs to meet? Was she a victim of the contemporary education which does not seem to allow creativity or thinking outside of the box? Because – despite occasional criticism of nonprofit sector – I still see the value in the marketing and sales for non-profits. I actually think we should start talking more about the ways nonprofits make and handle the money with nonprofits, than with their donors and supporters. I just think that if at all, it needs to be done in an extremely smart way, because the consumers trained by huge corporations (who by the way can afford great budgets for great campaigns, though many still get it wrong) will and do expect more. I feel sad. The call has not affected my feelings towards the brand, I remain loyal due to its strong tradition – lucky, heh? I might not do it with the next non-profit, so if they happen to read it, please brief your staff to call me wisely;) Simple advice: listen to me, appreciate my work so far and offer something better, because if you talk to me this way I feel I am to do all the work and it will still not be enough:( It’s all a question of balance, sanity and human touch – forget the system, forget the processes, simply talk to me, like a human. If we are not able to turn around this ‘development process’, get back to the roots of successful, meaningful and well…respectful conversations in all areas of our life, then we are doomed.