Finally at the point where I can start exploring the fluidity of my services and how therapy fits in, stands out, moves me forward. A great feeling to be coming back to my path after what is a few years of being away from the technology world – focus-wise. Exciting times ahead.

Perfection. Thinking a lot about resonance in how we communicate and see the world.

Many things start to connect, finally, and life feels steadier. It all should be, would be easier, but it’s done now. So I planted a pear tree today, to mark the end of months of challenges and the final essay on the course too. Her name is Pearseverance. I also planted Joy, a pink/orange butterfly bush too. Looking forward to the spring and summer. Getting on with steady work. Finally.

My new tree. Reading the news on crow’s capacity to think about thinking makes me wonder even more: when did we decide as a species that we are better than other kinds?

Words cannot describe the power of ecotherapy…wisdom, collective power, mystery and wonder… maybe… although it’s something that needs to be experienced. So humbled to share my journey with people who venture into those spaces and co-create.

Quiet start to the new year, restoring for what is to be a busy year.

Friends, people who nurture our inner child. I had no time for stockings so I allowed myself to let this go…so thanks! Years ago, when I was at the Uni, I decided to take Christmas softly. Mixed feelings for me, always, with a bit of grief this year and loads of anger/disbelief around how many people ignored the immigration, refugee crisis, and pandemic this year. We’ve become so selfish as a kind, or maybe not evolved just yet? I’m told it’s the first global pandemic in history in which we actually value human life…(shocked to learn that), and so many still don’t… not even their own…but if I stay in the present and listen to how I want and can spend this time, it becomes educational and stress-free, I can sail through it with gratitude. Perfect time for reflection and giving thanks to those who were there for us, those that we miss. Perfect time to place one more plate at the table (Polish custom to symbolise a person who might be lost and in need on Christmas Eve). For me, time to count the efforts I made to help others. My business donated £500 to causes supporting young people, refugees, anti-oppressive work this year. I have trained as an anti-oppressive therapist and gained some really solid placements too. I served many clients. Made mistakes and learned from them. I suffered and came out or through that suffering stronger, wiser, quieter. I learned that the word “LISTEN” spells “SILENT” and so I started to use my voice wiser. I lost my blogging voice a few years ago due to Brexit but it’s back and I am now using it softer, more tactically, with action. All of it was, is, and will be possible thanks to friends who make Christmas stockings for us and who carry us from one day to another. We are not alone, we are not supposed to lift ourselves up from the darkness on our own when we can’t. We are a social kind, we need the connection to turn Illness into WEllness (stolen from Malcolm X, I think). Our individual needs will only be met if we work on them as a collective and lift up that one silent person in the room. So in 2022, I shall learn to listen to the silence more and speak for those who cannot.

I made a thing, or two this weekend. Thanks to the amazing leadership and guidance of Alice Shields from the @clayshedbristol – I cannot stop thinking about her way of teaching and guiding us: professional, steady, so well informed but also trusting, stepping in exactly when we needed it. The work is the result of our and HER attention. Learned a lot from her way of teaching and working. So kind too. As for the pottery process: such a wonderful metaphor for trauma work: stabilise, be mindful, ground and steady yourself but be confident, center, and only then, when ready, help the client build steady walls and rebuild their new experience of the world. Results are not always perfect but steady enough to keep us going, maybe even nurture.

Today I remembered how I define my belongings: it’s places and people that foster my authentic self. And so, I do not belong to one country, or two. In fact, countries, citizenships are my Stopping Places. So is each and every person who actively respects me for who I am and keeps me safe, nurtured. Without those kind people, groups, belongings, I would not be able to do the work I do and help others. The last book was blooming hard to read but now I have time to learn this new Stopping Place of mine. Marvellous book!!!

Happy Diwali to my friends who celebrate. Oh, what a sublime day! Started with posting to support people with anxiety and depression across the country, sending out my newsletter, then pre-ordering a book of poetry from a magnificent friend (so cannot wait!!!), planning walks with friends, posts for my own company (fun), watching my other daughter celebrate Diwali in India, collecting leaves in the park, reporting from COP26, submitting school assignment (again…), the final session of trauma training, and an incredible day 1 of the Hope Summit. For a person who had to study about books and wait for them for weeks to arrive from a library, it will always feel incredible to be able to finish the day with Dr.Dan Siegel leading an embodied integration exercise in my home office. Lush!!! Ever so grateful for wonderful people, autumnal nature, and the free training opportunities the web allows us. All of the above without stress, with gratitude. Softly. (And with cheesecake too;)) Today I learned that feeling hopeful extends our life.. so… off to practice. What a time to live. #hopeful #grateful #inspired #awe #diwali #positivepsychology #ecoanxiety #trauma #work #studies📚 (update: posted this and realized it might sound quite naive so just to clarify: I am fully aware we might be on the verge of extinction soon, but that is why we need to act, build a better future and almost certainly not shut down) #doingthework