Two hours before midnight I am sitting down to my blog again to sum up this and welcome the next year. It is difficult to write here again as I have abandoned my central journal a lot in 2014.

I have spent a lot of time working offline, making things happen in my life and sadly I simply ran out of energy to write about it too. Actually, I have more notes in my Moleskine journals than here…

2014 was not easy if I think about my levels of energy invested and often underestimated for the efforts required to conquer even just everyday life surprises. All I can say looking back at this year now is that I have learned my new limits and I have understood something my closest friends used to say a lot this year: I really need to take time, make time to rest. I had two serious meltdowns – one in September, at the end of horrific summer spent with an ill puppy and bored child behind the curtains of our house. Second just recently, before Christmas. I simply could not lift up a finger, I was so tired – physically, emotionally, intellectually. Out of those two occasions came out one conclusion: my current life in not balanced and I need to work on it. I guess it is just a question of routine and the fact that for quite a while I have put aside fun, time for myself, reading books, creative writing and travel – all the activities that feed my happiness. I should never forget about myself, really, it’s something I must learn to guard in 2015.

I have also tipped the balance between planning and actually delivering and so instead of focussing on million of ideas I have (every week!:/)

I chose a few, worked on them and finished them with a final delivery on each. I have completed my first seriously designed, planned and executed art project which also included a bit of a learning curve (video making part of it was very new to me). I am really happy that at the end of it it was the process, not just stories, that made me feel complete. I think I have re-defined success for myself and learned to look at it in a more Buddhist manner – the process itself, the journey meant so much more to me than the final result. The day I started screening the documentary I have genuinely felt that something has come to an end. Earlier on I used to enjoy exhibiting and discussing the impact my work had on guests. This time was different and in 2015 I do hope to go back to my notes and continue discovering this new approach to visual arts.

On the other hand, I have also learned to say no to projects and probably by rather unpleasant confrontations with people of very traditional and elitist take on visual arts and arts promotion in local communities I have understood my own limits as an artist too. I was invited to participate in a local initiative to promote arts in the area with the support of local funds but as the project kicked off it became really quickly quite apparent that it lacks strong leadership, management, clear goals and open, inclusive, respectful culture and transparency. I have suffered personal attacks but came out of the experience with new, very trusted friends – which means it was worth it. I have learned yet again that being honest, open and clear about situations is the best way towards sustainable, trusted relationships – and makes it easier to identify less honest ones. I have learned a lot about civic engagement and the fact that some challenges can be fixed within the group in power, others need to be addressed by external, new types of less elitist but more distributed powers. I have learned that there is something I can do about it myself and so this entire experience has helped me clarify and polish the idea of social enterprise I have been thinking off for quite a while now. Plus it helped me gain supporters to it so much that I will have to deal with it as a matter of urgency in 2015.

Speaking of which – I have finally, after 12 months of ‘thinking about it’ received the final push from my friends and started a local club for children promoting the use of tech for studies and team building, maybe also much more than that. The combination of trust from my network with almost obvious impatience of children who really need us, parents to listen, join them, participate and really just have fun together – both factors gave me the energy to start a pilot course. In 2015 I will build on it and make it even more effective and sustainable because now I really don’t have another choice. There were two children who confirmed that. A girl who drew a note on a school board during our small school disco saying: ‘Sylwia is kind because she started Minecraft Club’. I was really captivated by the use of word ‘kind’ there. And another boy, one who is labelled as difficult, restless, often ungrateful, who during our usual weekly walk with my son simply said: ‘Thank you, thank you very much for the club – it really makes a huge difference and makes me happy’. Those little glimpses of truth – that we are here to ensure that kids can make the most of the current technology and with it and WITH US thrive. That made me really humble and very, very happy. So no wonder I want to go back to the ‘grown up’ world and make the idea stick more in 2015.

I have continued my work on our local Christmas event and second year in it I have finally started receiving amazing results on Facebook and more importantly – offline. We had a great engagement, great event and a really nice time working on it.

I have also been asked to join a group of trustees of our local small park which is located just on the other side of our current garden – a place I visit at least once each day. It is my personal retreat and for my puppy her local news reading spot. So you can imagine just how privileged I feel being a part of the group of people (really amazing people) who make it so tranquil and yet so full of life.

I have learned a lot at home too, not just in my work/projects related activities. I have hacked everything I could at home to save time and energy for family and for work. You cannot believe how much a simple book on minimalism can do in practice. I can now clean our house in an hour (I am officially the one responsible for it, since my husband has a full time – me, on the other hand, more flexible – job), I have cleared and organised all areas of the house, worked out fast way of managing items at home, clothes (shopping, cleaning, putting back int he right place, monitoring amounts etc), I have improved fast access to food and stock of everything else. I have made space for breathing, change the design of the house to spend less time in front of TV, more with each other and with books and our pets; I have learned to care for plants (huge improvement). I have also improved tasks allocation in the family so everyone participates more in planning and delivery. I have organised a new allotment and so for 2015, this is our huge new family project.

In personal development, one thing stands out – reiki. I have pushed my boundaries of science and simple gut feeling to study more alternative areas of life – meditation, reiki and mindfulness (new term for my always present morning thoughts over my mandatory cup of coffee). I wish I had more time for it, but for now, I managed to cover all the basics and start applying them to my environment. In 2015 I would like to take the level 2 of reiki learning and apply it to pets more. I would like to understand dogs more – it is fascinating how much those creatures developed living with us and just how much today’s science allows us to understand about them. I am very tempted to allow myself a dog psychology course in 2015.

I have finalised my next huge step in personal development – I need to go back to university. In my industry, I would have to work in London, live a lifestyle of long working hours and few moments for family and other crucial elements of my present life. I cannot do that. What I can do is take my business learnings, combine them with questions really bother me and go back to find a methodology to research answers to those. I have been very fortunate to meet a friend who introduced me to the right department and so 2015 will be the year of my application, if not the beginning of university.

One horrible negligence of 2014 was simply the lack of writing. I have not produced much. One bit step was to produce my first newsletter and I am glad I did it – it helped me to stay in touch with so many people in this really direct way. I can only hope that in 2015 I will at least complete my two small books. I have to if I really want to make the most of my time.

I know, it must look as if I am mad. Some ask me how I have time for all this. But really – it is not much! Work, home and family can function effectively if we find the right balance. Personal development depends on us. Our projects on our faith in our own vision, on clear leadership but also on many trusted and reliable people who give us a hand – many of them!

2014 was supposed to be a year of testing how I can mange my time in preparation for university and I have indeed learned a lot about time and energy management. I take those experiences with me into 2015 and hope to hack that too a bit. I hope that I can own my vision in each commitment, focus but also store and re-charge my energy levels, trust the right people and allocate my time accordingly but most of all in December 2015 I want to feel that this list is at least as long as today, if not longer.

I want to see that this list benefits and inspires my family, my friends and my community.

Thank you for reading, for all your support and for just being here for me.

I wish you all a Happy New Year 2015!

..good books on coffee. Really enjoying this one! Buy it!

It has been a long and very emotional journey but it is here. Enjoy and please let me know what you think of it.

It is so sad that people don’t take children to ‘serious’ lectures and our generational gap is ever so wide! Dawid really enjoyed the lecture on the birth of photography in Oxford recently. He was a bit overwhelmed with the type of audience – clearly, just the academic world of Oxford and guests, their friends, even I was feeling a bit ‘different’ to be honest. He did spend some time drawing in my notebook but loved the ideas related to note taking, cataloguing and just listening to two speakers who spent their entire life researching Henry Fox Talbot. I was more interested in the idea of scanning Talbot’s letters and using online collaboration to analyse the results faster, but I have to admit that I also loved the stories about his early photo projects. Very inspiring! So inspiring in fact that when I mentioned to my son that we would go to Oxford again he really wanted it to be another trip to a lecture.

It has been a while. I look back at my Instagram photos and I wonder – where is all the coffee gone? I still drink it. I still use the time above my morning coffee cup to meditate and prepare for the day. But I have missed this blog as it recorded the journey of discovery, learning more about coffee…and quite frankly its readers missed it too.

Blog is back now.

I am not sure if I will be able to spend as much time on those recordings as initially anticipated but I am enjoying every second of it. People’s stories about our town are so intense, so captivating and so…universal. Sometimes it feels like they could only happen in here, in Wantage, and sometimes it feels as if they could belong to any town, anywhere in the world.  It feels like I am starting a journey around our town, maybe even around the world – I cannot wait to see where and when I am going to arrive home and what home will feel like, but I know that – as always – the journey itself will be full of discoveries.

I am just back from short but really insightful event at Said Business School in Oxford – meeting with the co-founder of Twitter, Biz Stone (@biz) so I would like to share all my notes, before I head off to another event. Here we go…

“I love the idea of taking one thing and using it for another.”

When asked about the beginning of Twitter Biz mentioned that it was actually born out of failure – after two other attempts to create a good messaging system. So today he can only advise all aspiring entrepreneurs to “go and build something”. His personal, early experiences of Twitter messaging meant having fun with friends, but there were moments of interesting realisations – “finally I was laughing out loud at something that I was working on. I had an emotional engagement in it. That feeling would later take me through a lot of projects”.

Initially, like with many ideas and projects we see today, many criticised Twitter for the fun element but lack of particular purpose: “The biggest argument was that Twitter was not useful so Evan said: “Neither is ice-cream – shall we ban ice-cream?”.

Building something that actually worked and appealed to people, seeing it used on screens of SXSW Interactive attendees made Biz realise that this idea might just work and as it grew, it filled him with passion, joy but also amazement that a new technology is born – one that facilitates new online behaviours:  “There was no such technology that would allow flocking behaviour to happen in humans”.

“We come up with really creative solutions when our back is to the wall.”

When asked about the notion of creativity (Biz was initially an artist, only later entrepreneur) and the fact that in his book he addresses the need to re-invent yourself and fight the need to stick to one’s ideas Biz used the word ‘fluid’, pointed out that creativity teaches you a unique way of looking at problems but putting constrains around creatives might motivate them to deliver better solutions. I really liked his point on like to be in a box or at least seeing its boundaries to be able to think outside of it. But also the personal story of his mother telling him to draw on a piece of paper, Biz not knowing what to draw but getting the inspiration from mum’s statement ‘don’t draw then!’. Kids, but not only kids, tend to work this way, don’t you think?

The notion of constrains led to the question I am sure Biz is asked a lot – why 140 characters? So we have learned that originally it was actually 160 – the international standard for SMS messaging with allowance for Twitter handles so some had more space, others less space to type. Initial twitter team settled with 140 characters allowing 15 for Twitter handle and 5 for the idea of ads! (just imagine that one for a second!:))

There were also few good questions from the audience so let me mention those too (note that answers are quotes but might omit few sentences, the meaning is conveyed though, I hope).

Q: How did your environment influence your choices and career?
A: “At the beginning there was nothing. But in the end it was not about capital or companies – it was about people, people were the capital, learning from people smarter than me. The key for Twitter was the fact that they did not just start up with an idea and build on it – first we built something that was working and only then went for the money. So I always advice start ups to build something first, it is much easier to raise money this way.” [As for himself he did have financial issues but used to say:] “I have faith in future Biz. And I loved that guy. He totally fixed it all”

Q: Does Twitter support censorship?
A: “I do not work at Twitter anymore but….absolutely not. I drew a bird and used it as a logo to use it as a symbol of freedom of expression. The bird is not in a cage. […] In Germany and France we cannot publish pro-nazi stuff so we hide those tweets in those countries but not in other parts of the world. We try to be as free speechy as we can”

Q: How do politicians use Twitter? Did it change their relationship with citizens?

A: “Politicians are supposed to be representing their constituents so if you can read about their issues and address those it’s a wonderful thing. I think Twitter changed the pace of democracy. It made it faster and it made it more of the people because they had a say.”

“We are wired to do a good thing. We will only do more good as the time goes by.”

And finally we have learned about the “pay forward idea” mentioned in his book – people helping people is the coolest thing in the world, the power of humanity is a big thing. And so Biz finished his talk with a great, positive and optimistic take on the future of tech and the compact impact of altruism: “I came to understand that people are doing philanthropy wrong. They think that it’s something they will do when they are older and comfortable. They will then donate some money to a cause. But it’s not the way to do it. The way to do it is to get involved as early as you can – the impact you will have over the life if you start now is huge and you will think great about yourself. This works in business context too! I think that the future of marketing is philanthropy. And it’s happening already. People are attracted to a higher level of meaning, they want to make smth meaningful. Your customers will feel a sense of worth and happiness and you will attract better talent. [people] We are wired to do a good thing. We will only do more good as the time goes by”.

I really enjoyed this lecture so kudos to Said Business School for running it, opening it to the public and big thank you to Graeme Hunter for the invite!

It is time to act, always. There will never be enough of work done in this area. Women in conflict experience so much horror that we do not even want to talk about it. We have to though! Every change starts with the fact that a story becomes important and is on the agenda of those in power and those who can work towards cultural and social changes on the ground.

I am writing this just to express my gratitude to ActioAid UK team for inviting me to the End Sexual Violence in Conflict Summit as a blogger – it was a privileged to be able to access the event in media capacity and I really wish I could have been there on all days. I only managed to get away from my every everyday for a day, but what a day it was! I think I will blog about it all throughout the summer, if not longer, but for now let me direct you to my first reactions here, here and here, on my Twitter and Instagram accounts, and kindly ask you to support ActionAid UK in their work now, this month – simply because if we do it before the 25th of June our donations will be matched!

Thank you again to the ActionAid UK team, to all bloggers who attended and met up with us and to the organisers. important, impactful and life changing event.

Stay tuned for more updates on their work and on the topic!

‘If we truly want gender equality, we need to challenge the assumption that more is always better, and the assumption that men don’t suffer as much as women when they’re exhausted and have no time for family or fun. And we need to challenge those assumptions wherever we find them, both in the workplace and in the family.’

David Beard posted those words in his article criticising Sheryl Sandberg’s ‘Lean In’ theory (and book) encouraging women to work harder and make their points stronger if that is what is required for their success. And I feel that even if Sheryl is often right, David makes some good points too – maybe not so much in relation to feminism itself but to family in our times.

Sheryl’s book is needed and I am happy that it made so much noise. I am actually really, really happy to see just how much criticism it has provoked too – if it would be ignored we would not have an issue, right?  But Beard is right – for those of us who are fortunate enough to live fairly harmonious lives the issue of long working hours, commuting and isolating kids in the meantime is pretty serious. Only that I do not think it is necessarily the other side of Sheryl’s ‘coin’ – it applies to both men and women, to all couples who decide to build a family and get at least one more job – path to their own, individual success outside of their family. It is not easy and I do agree that the right balance is the key. I just wish the issue of work-home balance and women’s path to success were not in the same pot anymore…