Four years ago. First counselling session in person. So glad I captured that.

I am having fantastic conversations about belongings, heritage, family systems, attachment and the importance of understanding our stories.

I am finishing reading “Homecoming”, thinking about the last five years of our journey to reconnect and build strong alliances with good people.

Grateful for the good people. Grateful for my family. Grateful for the insight, new path, and learning.

Every single day.

(photo: Corsac fox, origin of my family name)

I spent most of my childhood travelling on trains, exploring, meeting people, and learning different perspectives and stories.

I sit at train stations as often as I can these days, thinking.

What makes us safe in the world is understanding where we come from and having a sense of direction, even if the path proves too hard and we need to step onto a different one. That orientation can mean dipping into the past or out of it into the here and right now.

I love the fluidity of our multiple belongings as it allows me to see the humanity in its widening diversity.

Since I have re-discovered my own liberation, passed on to me by my ancestors and started supporting others in liberating themselves from and to a better life, I cannot help but think about the systems and labels designed to deprive us of our identities and roots.

We are all connected – in one way or another.

Finally at the point where I can start exploring the fluidity of my services and how therapy fits in, stands out, moves me forward. A great feeling to be coming back to my path after what is a few years of being away from the technology world – focus-wise. Exciting times ahead.

Perfection. Thinking a lot about resonance in how we communicate and see the world.

Many things start to connect, finally, and life feels steadier. It all should be, would be easier, but it’s done now. So I planted a pear tree today, to mark the end of months of challenges and the final essay on the course too. Her name is Pearseverance. I also planted Joy, a pink/orange butterfly bush too. Looking forward to the spring and summer. Getting on with steady work. Finally.

My new tree. Reading the news on crow’s capacity to think about thinking makes me wonder even more: when did we decide as a species that we are better than other kinds?

Words cannot describe the power of ecotherapy…wisdom, collective power, mystery and wonder… maybe… although it’s something that needs to be experienced. So humbled to share my journey with people who venture into those spaces and co-create.

Quiet start to the new year, restoring for what is to be a busy year.

Friends, people who nurture our inner child. I had no time for stockings so I allowed myself to let this go…so thanks! Years ago, when I was at the Uni, I decided to take Christmas softly. Mixed feelings for me, always, with a bit of grief this year and loads of anger/disbelief around how many people ignored the immigration, refugee crisis, and pandemic this year. We’ve become so selfish as a kind, or maybe not evolved just yet? I’m told it’s the first global pandemic in history in which we actually value human life…(shocked to learn that), and so many still don’t… not even their own…but if I stay in the present and listen to how I want and can spend this time, it becomes educational and stress-free, I can sail through it with gratitude. Perfect time for reflection and giving thanks to those who were there for us, those that we miss. Perfect time to place one more plate at the table (Polish custom to symbolise a person who might be lost and in need on Christmas Eve). For me, time to count the efforts I made to help others. My business donated £500 to causes supporting young people, refugees, anti-oppressive work this year. I have trained as an anti-oppressive therapist and gained some really solid placements too. I served many clients. Made mistakes and learned from them. I suffered and came out or through that suffering stronger, wiser, quieter. I learned that the word “LISTEN” spells “SILENT” and so I started to use my voice wiser. I lost my blogging voice a few years ago due to Brexit but it’s back and I am now using it softer, more tactically, with action. All of it was, is, and will be possible thanks to friends who make Christmas stockings for us and who carry us from one day to another. We are not alone, we are not supposed to lift ourselves up from the darkness on our own when we can’t. We are a social kind, we need the connection to turn Illness into WEllness (stolen from Malcolm X, I think). Our individual needs will only be met if we work on them as a collective and lift up that one silent person in the room. So in 2022, I shall learn to listen to the silence more and speak for those who cannot.