I love the flowers from my son and I like celebrating motherhood too. Although, to be honest, every day is #MothersDay to me. I wake up grateful for my son, admire his resilience, independence and most of all joy and love for life, his stoic belief that everything is going to be OK and if not – he will become the president of the world and fix it. I was given gorgeous 14 years of motherhood and cannot wait for more.
In the U.K. we speak of our children in negative sentiment mostly, it is so accepted it goes unnoticed. It’s perfectly ok (considered healthy even) to complain about being a parent but I find it infuriating. We joke about our helplessness, mention mainly challenges, mostly blaming those little ones. We find parental collective connection over the stories of disasters, mess and lack of sleep.
As if they were a burden? But they ARE here and listen to our words – surely that’s rather painful…I think that’s wrong and really mean. It’s really cruel to our children actually.
So I model different parenthood. I speak to and of him kindly. I notice his small and big wins, not failures. And I look hard at myself instead, the adult. Instead of complaining about motherhood and leaving it at that, I work harder or less, I ask for help, negotiate better parenthood, care for myself and teach people around me to support me.
I very rarely get negative and if so – I resolve it with my son, honestly. I guide him, I do discipline him – draw the boundaries between us and expect him to gradually step up too. And so he grows wiser, stronger and more independent. But I always stay kind and – even though I accept the harder times and differences – I aim to be positive.
He grows loved, wanted and confident.
It was me who invited him into this world so it is my responsibility to make it a warm home for and with him. I don’t just tell him he is loved, I make him feel so and tell the world about it too. And so on days like today, when I get this love back it’s so overwhelming!
My heart grows, explodes in fireworks and settles into a richer togetherness. Happy parenthood is more than possible, it’s actually easy, we just need to allow it in. Stay positive and you will get positive vibes back. Especially now, this will help us manage, who knows… maybe even thrive and grow closer?