15
Jan

The letter to my Father

This is the end of your life and I owe you this letter.

I want to tell you how much I love you and thank you for everything you have done for me.

Thank you for keeping me safe. Your life was a storm but somehow you have managed to keep me safe, steady and centred. All throughout the journey that we have shared. You shielded me from the thunders in our own house. You showed me the way out and never held me back. 

Thank you for showing me what it means to love and to be loved. I mean the warm, kind and caring love. You showed me the active, deep connection few people appreciate. I grew up knowing a good relationship from a fake one. 

Thank you for teaching me the basic life skills. Without your practical teachings I would not be able to live a full life today. 

Thank you for teaching me the value of self-care in times when it was unacceptable and unthinkable.

Thank you for teaching me that the true legacy of a human is not the amount of houses they own, but the amount of trees they plant and people they nurture. 

Thank you for showing me the value of learning and exploring, never standing still, always moving forward. 

Thank you for teaching me the difference between a to-do list and getting things done.

Thank you for teaching me that choices are not easy, but they can be informed.

Thank you for always leaning in, speaking up and looking after the people who came after you. I have no choice but to follow you the same way. 

Thank you for teaching me to treat young people and adults with equal amount of respect and attention. For treating everyone as a human being – regardless of their gender, education, origin or age.

Thank you for showing me how to live life fully. You showed me how to relax, step back a little, slow down and simply take in the world around us. You showed me how to be happy. 

Thank you for teaching me to look back only to steady myself. For reminding me to always look ahead of me, to focus on the future, on the life’s horizon. Thank you for showing me how to love the right here and right now this way. 

Thank you for teaching me to surround myself with good people. We can only aim to remain faithful to our values, it’s a constant battle, but we are in it together. We are all going our best. 

Thank you for showing me the power of our human vulnerability. It is only in our weaknesses that we can find the power to go on, not in strengths. I get it now and it makes everything easier, simpler. 

Thank you for showing me how to protect myself. I know it also meant that you lost me. But I also know that it was you who showed me the value of knowing our own boundaries. 

Thank you for being so very human with me. For teaching me to make mistakes and owning them. This one is hard, because it’s your mistakes that led to me loosing you way too early. Thank you for even trying to understand and respect my final choice on that. 

Thank you for hopefulness, for the constant faith in life and in people. Kindness was your religion and so it remains mine too. You showed me the value of each small leap of that faith. It’s revolutionary. 

Thank you for our shared, magical silences. You showed me the value of a grounded, rich stillness. You talked to me without words, yet showed me so much! You saw, heard and spoke wisdom of our ancestors few people nowadays are even able to notice. You held the time and space for me, expecting me to do the same for my family. 

Our time is difficult. The world is challenged like never before. We are all challenged daily. You have shown me the truth of our human condition in its entity: the perfect imperfection of our kind. With “kind-ness” as its most imperative adjective. I am so grateful for that. We have shared a connection hard to explain. Even when separated by our choices, we lived in our own solitudes but in dignity. I have never ever lost the legacy you have given me. I carry it with me as a reminder of the best of people. And I promise to pass it on to others through my own silences, words and actions. 


I miss you dearly, but I know I am doing my best to make you proud. 

R.I.P. HJK 

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