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Walls
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
Elizabeth Gilbert
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Work and life balance
I am really tired now because I was organising a Christmas Fair for our local care home and pretty much had to do it on my own. I am really, really fortunate that many of my local friends and contacts agreed to help and the event itself was lovely. It’s so rewarding to see elderly people celebrate with their families but also socialise with new faces. It was warm, full of kindness and I do feel ready for Christmas now. But it was also quite demanding and I had to step back from very active studies to just covering the basics of my work in counselling course. I was prepared that some weeks or months might be like this, but the last few weeks of fair organising took their toll and I really need to think about resting now. We will be traveling for Christmas to visit family so I hope to rest then, but I really should not wait another month to do so. I am back to long walks, allotment and psychology books making peace with the fact that I cannot be 100% present in every part of my life all the time. Leffing go, relaxing, accepting the facts and demands of life is the best I can do now.
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Volunteering and its benefits
I attended the Wantage Mayor’s Reception for Volunteers last night on behalf of the Wantage Summer Festival with mixed feelings. It was really nice to see so many lovely people giving up their time for the town. It was lovely to see the Town Council saying their thanks to all of us too. But I was also aware of the fact that soon, very soon, the time I have invested in all my voluntary work (almost half of my available work time at the moment!) will have to be redirected towards very active studies.
It’s really difficult to make life choices and I am glad that I have completed the StartupCamp.com academy which gave me really good tools to make choices related to my personal and work life (and work-life balance in general) but the idea of volunteering will always remain really tempting. There are many health benefits of volunteering (socialising, improving our self-esteem but also resilience, sense of purpose and pure happiness when work gets done), and I really hope that when I take a step back, it won’t be for long. I also know that I will strongly recommend it to all my future clients!
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To selfie or not to selfie?
A friend of mine from London is currently researching the impact of selfie photography on our behavior and asked me to participate. It was interesting to respond to her question but also consider what really is the impact of selfies on our lives. This line of research is not so new. There was a really good study published online back in 2014 and UWE in Bristol also work on it in their Centre of Appearance Research studies. Most of the findings I come across online indicate what the social media specialists would assume: the social media posts of our own image, selfies, tend to broaden, magnify and validate the initial feelings we have towards ourselves. So if we have negative feelings, we might experience even lower moods in reaction to comments on our selfie’s. If we are fairly confident, the online comments will boost that confidence more. Some studies, however, do show that posting selfies online tends to increase our confidence, even if our self-esteem levels are low. So yes, as a result of that, some people might fall into the trap of narcissism, but I am personally really fed up with media blowing out of proportions the negative consequences, instead of focusing on a balanced view (both positive and negative impact of selfies). I am saying this, because an average reader of major media outlets won’t even bother googling the studies, but will shape very uninformed options about this topic.
In the UK there’s also a very dangerous habit of basing one’s opinions on that person’s pure experience, which obviously is not enough to back up a point in a conversation. So yes, I could say that I feel much better about myself if I post a selfie (I actually do!) and it took me a while to get used to that feeling. But I am not going to base my opinion on the value of selfies for my future clients purely on that very subjective experience. Which is why I am glad I could participate in my friend’s study and I hope that we will see many more. It’s still a new area and technology is changing so fast. We cannot change that. We can, however, change the sentiment of our discussions from demonising towards more balanced, informed ones.
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London
“The Seven Social Sins are:
Wealth without work.
Pleasure without conscience.
Knowledge without character.
Commerce without morality.
Science without humanity.
Worship without sacrifice.
Politics without principle.From a sermon given by Frederick Lewis Donaldson in Westminster Abbey, London, on March 20, 1925.”
Frederick Lewis Donaldson
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Rose
“Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.”
Gertrude Stein
