• WELLBEING

    Back to books and learning

    So I completed the Positive Psychology course on Coursera with Barbara Fredericton just now. I feel a great sense of accomplishment and a bit more confidence to start the offline Counselling studies tomorrow. Tomorrow is our first lesson and I feel prepared – which is rare. I guess as we grow up we need to feel more prepared? I used to risk and wait for the boost of energy in the last minute preparations but now I really want to relax while studying. I want to make time for it, take time while doing it and be really good in counselling once I get to practice. I have learned a lot about new psychology academics during this course. I learned about new trends. I also learned a little bit about practice of counselling and psychotherapy in business, schools, personal coaching and in academic research area too. It gives me a good starting point to learn about the reality of the new profession too. I am trying not to think about all the other things I need to learn and my craving to learn it ALL!:) All the books I want to read, online courses I want to take. About http://www.ippanetwork.org/. About http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/. I feel excited about finally, after years and years, going back to my childhood dream of helping others by supporting them emotionally. When I was younger I really wanted to be a psychotherapist but I simply did not dare to claim the dream. Today I know that we have many voices in our head but only we get to choose which one to believe and follow. I choose to listen to the one that empowers me to walk another mile, work harder and achieve more satisfaction from the fact that I do something I really believe in. And the trust is that: as the world is moving towards tech and we increasingly move away from human contact (don’t get me wrong, I do not criticise tech at all, just state the obvious) we also start to feel a bit confused. Things change with dramatic speed. Our generation, in my humble option, is the first one that holds the key to the solution of inter-generational gap. The very same generation faces a huge challenge of social web, self-driving cars and AI. What is left then but to dive into how our brains, bodies and emotions feel about all this and how those of us who are more involved in tech can help others manage their worries, fears, inconsistencies? To me it’s almost a natural step in my own self-development – a path I cannot not take. So I am really excited about my Counselling Degree. It is going to be hard – just doing this online course was not easy. I was falling asleep tired after my usual daily tasks, but I took it easy and continued. Even if a bit harder than back in my student times (we had so much time then!) I think I am still benefitting from this educational path much more because I am benefitting from my conscious motivation: I can see clearly what I am aiming for at the end of those four years. With this in mind, I find it symbolically significant that I start this new academic adventure with the subject of positive psychology and new, very suitable definition of love – the micro-moments of connection between people that shape our positive resonance and lead to better overall health and well being!

  • WELLBEING

    What a great time to be a student!

    I am tired but happy. Work started and I feel it creeping into my learning time but I am determined. On one hand, I am taking on more work to allow myself more books and courses. On the other hand, I am pushing myself harder to stick to the working time – I just do work in advance. Today I did work for two clients for the entire month, so I do not have to worry about them and can study. I did the 4th week of positive psychology and moved on to the definition of love – which is very meaningful and -as opposed to static status-like meanings – is actually effective in daily life. I really enjoy studying emotions.  I decided to read ‘The art of loving’ by Fromm once again. It shaped my view on relationships since university but I could do with a reminder now, after this positive psychology course too (I aim to finish it by 18.09). Last night I have also read about neuro-psychanalysis – which is a very exciting new branch of psychology. It does make sense for Freudians and neuro-linguists to collaborate though it was a reminder of my academic experiences to learn that they have initially remained in mutual disrespect for quite a while (not even reading each other’s journals!). It’s all good now and I have managed to find a lot of their published findings online, for free. EU countries announced today that they are aiming to ensure that by 2020 all academic results and work are free. What a great time to be a student!
  • WELLBEING

    The positivity ratio

    Today I have learned more about positivity ratio and ordered Frederickson’s two books to catch up on more of her studies of positive psychology. I noticed that taking notes on paper helps me focus in the still challenging world of household and multitasking, so I will study more in the evenings and with written notes. I also started writing down main points from Gilbert’s book on compassion as it also contains a lot of positive psychology insights and I know I will find those notes useful when working. I know many books can be read on Kindly with notes there, but I want to read and make notes from core ones on paper. School starts tomorrow and I am happy that I paid for my counselling course for this year, prepared study space and time and core books. I will spend all year identifying online resources too and blogging about my journey.
    I have also learned today about the wheel of emotions (above) – I feel I need to learn to name them all so Robert Plutchnik is a good start for that. I also have a book I got for fun read ‘The book of human emotions’ – I will get on with it after Gilbert. It contains cross-cultural perspective on emotions so I learned just from first few sections quite a lot of new feelings. At some point in the future, I will try to blog about each feeling too to emerge myself in them and to learn more about them.
  • WELLBEING

    Positive psychology

    I have paid for the Positive Psychology course on Coursera now to get a diploma so I need to finish it by 18.09. It’s good to be pushed for it as I make more time for studying. Today I have completed the second week and learned so much! I mean instinctively I knew some of those facts but I am so glad that science proves I am not madly positive and naive;) Aside from ‘negativity bias’ (the need for us to live the negative experiences more intensely and respond to them faster) I have also learned that the stable, more sublime, quiet way of living with positive emotions is supported by since and called ‘positivity offset’. We live many more positive moments than negative ones, we just don’t notice them so well, that’s all. In her interview back in 2003, Barbara Fredrickson mentions: “Emotions SHOULD reflect our circumstances” ergo we should feel sad, attacked, depressed sometimes. But most of the time we feel OK, good, inspired, at awe, hopeful, in love. We just don’t talk about it. We are happiness biased striving for some ideal state of super-love or super-happiness. Even back at the university when I studied love and family from Erich Fromm I learned that’s not the case entirely. But nowadays, at the beginning of the XXI century, we seem to promote, even make money on that promise of painless, light and mindless (not mindful) life. So as I study this course I am starting to see just how much work is there to be done for councillors. Acc. to Fredericton’s studies back in 2003 only 20% of Americans lived thriving life – not financially, but from the point of view of that balance.
    Balance is something I have also noticed in Paul Gilbert’s ‘The Compassionate Mind’ (just reading it when I can relax). I really like his list of life challenges were are facing (chapter 2) and the Three Types of Affect Regulation System:
    1. DRIVEN, EXCITED, VITALITY: Incentive/resource focussed – wanting, pursuing, achieving, consuming – activating
    2. ANGER, ANXIETY, DISGUST: Threat-focussed – protection and safety seeking – activating/inhibiting
    3. CONTENT, SAFE, CONNECTED: non-wanting, affiliative-focussed – safeness – kindness – soothing
    The third I find shocking. It should be obvious to me as a mother that it’s needed but having worked in marketing and businesses I was so distracted by the main two forces: seeking/wanting and protecting/hiding that I forgot about the most crucial system: the balancing act of being simply OK, happy with things as they are. Maybe it’s the answers to things I currently find difficult to accept in my life – leaving the full, energetic, emotional life behind for calm and slow paced one?  I guess that’s one for my own counselling.
     For now, I am really pleased that I re-discover the elements of psychology I was already learning at the Uni with the addition of immense discoveries in the last 20-30 years. That learning curve itself is immensely satisfying!